In my post about Joe’s Rough Guide to Diabetes I referenced an article which appeared in The Times.
While the intro was about a young guy who’s written the above book about his life since age 13 with diabetes, the lower part of the article goes into more detail about children with T1 and their parents. An excerpt from the article:
As a specialist paediatric registrar at the Peninsula Medical School in Exeter, 33-year-old Rachel Besser can be more direct. What she tells patients is tempered by her experience of living with type 1 since she was 9. She is also acutely aware of the effect that diagnosis of a child’s diabetes has on parents, and has written a book to address their concerns.
“Parents often blame themselves,” she says. “They ask what they could have done differently, they feel powerless to help and grieve for the loss of their healthy child. I’ve seen parents who worry all the time. When a parent feels that anxious it’s a big burden for the child, who can feel that it’s his fault his parents are upset.”
Rachel is grateful that her parents encouraged her to be independent. For young people with type 1, the greatest difficulties can lie not in their condition but in other people’s responses, she says, and parents can help by allowing their children to lead normal lives. “Stable children come from stable parents. A teenager’s instinct is to make diabetes as small a part of their life as possible and if you have a parent asking all the time, ‘How are your blood sugars?’ you feel like you’re a number — and that if it’s a high number you’re imperfect, a failure. Ideally an anxious parent will find someone to talk to.”
I was interested to see that Rachel Besser has written a book – Diabetes Through the Looking Glass: A Book for Parents of Children with Diabetes which was only published last year in July. There’s a 13-page preview of the book here and it looks like it could be a good one for any of you parents out there with T1 kids. You can get it from either of these websites:
Class UK – GBP 17.99
Amazon – US $28.73
While it’s billed as a book for parents to understand their kids with T1, just from looking at the excerpt I can see that some of the information is actually brilliantly laid out for all of us, even those of us who’ve had T1 for a long time. For example the paragraph about hypos is one of the best explanations of what actually happens physiologically that I’ve come across:
Hypoglycaemia results from an imbalance between insulin, food and exercise. Too much insulin or exercise in proportion to too little glucosecontaining food will cause hypoglycaemia (hypo). Exercise such as sport can cause hypos up to 1–2 days later. Your diabetes team will help find ways of dealing with exercise that suits your child, such as by eating a snack before exercise and/or reducing the insulin dose. Exercise is discussed in more detail in Chapter 3.
The symptoms of hypoglycaemia arise for two reasons. The first is the effect of the body’s response to stop or reverse the hypo from happening. Hormones, the body’s chemical messengers, are released into the bloodstream to try to raise the blood glucose. This is called a counter-regulatory response and in those without diabetes, would normally cause symptoms at a blood glucose level of around 3.0 mmol/l. However, in those with diabetes, this will depend on what the blood glucose normally runs at, any recent low or high blood glucose, exercise, sleep and age. The first hormone released is adrenaline; this produces symptoms such as a fast pounding pulse rate, feeling shaky, sick and sweaty. Adrenaline is normally released to allow the body to respond well to stress – that is why the early hypo symptoms may feel like stress or anxiety. The hormone glucagon is also released to cause a more sustained rise in blood glucose. Glucagon works by breaking down glycogen stores from the liver. This makes people more prone to hypos during the day after a severe hypo as the glycogen stores may be empty.
Parents of children with Type 1 diabetes are given supplies of an artificial form of the hormone glucagon for emergency use (see p. 30). The other cause of hypo symptoms is due to the direct effect of low blood glucose in the brain. In those without diabetes these effects tend to occur at a blood glucose level of around 2.5 mmol/l. The brain, like any other part of the body, needs glucose as an energy supply and if blood glucose levels are low the brain will not work properly. This may cause difficulty in concentrating and hearing, headaches, confusion, drowsiness, blurred vision and slurred speech. The body will try to stop the fall in blood glucose but if the levels are dangerously low and a hypo is untreated a person with diabetes may fall unconscious and even have a fit.
Competition
Rachel Besser’s publisher, Class Health have provided me with a copy of Diabetes Through the Looking Glass: A Book for Parents of Children with Diabetes to give away. I’d like to give this to people who genuinely have children with diabetes. To enter, please leave a comment below about what you think has been the biggest challenge of having a child with T1. No need to leave any contact details as your email address will show in my system when you leave the comment. [Sorry overseas readers, this competition is only open to New Zealand residents].
All commenters present by 5pm on Tuesday 2 February 2010 will go into the draw to win the book. I’ll announce the winner on Wednesday 3 February. GOOD LUCK!
Posted in Community, Hypos & Hypers, Kids & Teens
Tagged as books
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26 comments have been made on this post
alicia wrote
Hi
our daughter was diagnosed at 18 months and she is a fussy eater (which we to some extend indulged prior to diagnosis). The biggest thing has been the relentless nature of the diagnosis, having had a “so called normal” baby for 18 months and then injections, blood sugars, snacks, rigid routine becoming additional to the normal parenting challenges.
The chronicity of it, with very little family support, never having a break from it. Every day, thinking of food, sugar levels, the constant balance of insulin, exercise, food.
But, on the positive side. A robust, empathetic, loving, fun, fantastic little girl who is now 3 and on a pump. Being diagnoised young, this is all she has ever known, so I guess its just us (her parents) that need to adjust.
would love the book, as would everyone else I am sure, so good luck everyone.
Saffy wrote
And here: http://www.bookdepository.co.uk/book/9781859592090/Diabetes-Through-the-Looking-Glass with free delivery worldwide
Kris wrote
For me, apart from the obvious hideousness of having to try to keep your diabetic child alive, healthy and happy 24 hours a day, the absolute worst thing has been when she asks us: “Why did I get diabetes? No-one in the whole family has got it except me. Did I do something bad to get it?”
Paul wrote
My 3year old girl thinks it’s “cool having diabetes just like her dad”. I am hoping she will hold on to that throughout her childhood as at the moment it makes the struggle a wee bit easier.
Karen wrote
My beautiful, strong, energetic, happy, loving 3yr old daughter was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes in December – out of the blue with no family history! I’m still struggling to get my head around the whole situation and am lapping up any titbit of information I can get. Aside from all the daily cares and trials/tribulations that we have to manage, I struggle to see how her future is going to be wonderful and happy (as every parent dreams for their children). Reading about how people with T1 go camping & have babies is great – to see a bit of normality (& chaos) in their routine driven lives is reassuring. But I am TERRIFIED, absolutely terrified for her. And I know that is not going to go away but will actually get worse as she gets older and more independent! I need to do the best for our girl and finding the information to make informed choices is really tricky. All I’ve managed to do so far is blame myself for finally giving in and taking her for a MMR immunisation at 3½yrs, and low and behold she gets T1 Diabetes 3 months later! What a coincidence! I find it easier to blame something than have no reason for it. That way my other 2 girls are safe – well not from measles, mumps or rubella! I doubt I’ll have the guts to give them that ever again!
And now my daughter is still a beautiful, strong, energetic, happy & loving 3yr old but I’d like to add that I think she is also amazing and brave!
Debs wrote
It is learning a whole new way of life. Tyler was 11 when diagnosed and he took to it better than his dad and I. For us, it is the relentlessness of it all. Everyday is different and what worked yesterday doesn’t necessarily work today. There is no light at the end of the tunnel (until a cure) and there is no holiday. While we try to allow him to be a ‘normal’ teenager, letting go of the apron strings can be damn tough. We constantly second guess ourselves but just try to do the best we can. While comments from others (you know, that well meaning advice!) used to annoy us, we now just brush it aside and continue on our merry (and sometimes not so merry) way. Dealing with puberty sucks at the best of times, but throw in D and it becomes the ultimate nightmare!
Daniel wrote
For us, it’s exercise with our 9 yr old by. Its so tough trying to keep it all lined up when sometimes little boys just run around without planning to.
alicia wrote
Hang in there Karen. its really really tough in the beginning, and it does get slightly easier I promise. The challenges change, but I can honestly say now that nearly 2 years post my 18 month old being diagnosed, I have started to accept it. A long grieving process for me – grieving the loss of normality. People say “but she’s still normal, she jsut has diabetes”. To which I say, which part of injections, rigidity with food, and now a 24/7 insulin pump do you call normal.
It will get better and you become a complete expert in it.
sending happy thoughts and best wishes.
Simone wrote
Our beautiful wee boy was diagnosed just before his 1st birthday last August.
Like many above, each day is a challenge. We too asked how? why? why us? did we do something wrong as parents? We also thought that DS was just being a difficult eater – turns out he had probably been terribly nausous for 3 or 4 mths…
For us, keeping informed is really the best way to stay on top of the daily management. There is a lot of information out there, but not so many specific books, which is why we would love a copy.
To share some comments (I’ll let you decide on the intended tone!):
“better a bit broke than not having him @ all”
“there is no right in diabetes, some days are just less wrong”
“you are a fast learner/coping, handling/managing well” (do we have any option?)
Nic wrote
I think you are all absolutely incredible people. Great to see some support for each other too, keep it coming xx
sarah wrote
After reading your comments – you parents of young children are far more worthy than this mother of 15year old – dxd when 11 and on an insulin pump – AND at boarding school (since 13) It is scary and it is uncertain – but when you teach them to own it (be it ever so slowly) and have a mountain of faith! they are remarkable and capable – and the bond between the parent and diabetic child is strengthened – even when teen and they say ‘dont be precious’ – they need us to be and I suspect want us to be. There is always something that just doesnt rest easy without knowledge. More books help you rest! – Newly diagnosed is the most necessary time to read – and join an online group – here in New Zealand we have one with Australian parents of children with Diabetes – it is a great place to learn and ask.
Jolene wrote
Hi.
On Auckland Anniversary day 2 years ago, our beautiful daughter was just shy of turning 3 when our world was just thrown upside-down. So…Monday will bring back those memories for us. Not that I haven’t relived those first few days many, many times in my head and my heart.
The biggest challenge I think would have been to try and live a “normal” life, as we were told to do by so many people.
Nothing felt “normal” and easygoing as it were before.
But it is amazing how she never complains, although she has also asked the question of why she had to get T1, and sometimes she will just sit there and say “when will it go away, I don’t want it anymore!”
But at night when she is asleep, and we test her , I look at her tiny fingers, and see the tiny marks of all the fingerpricks we had to do that day, yet she never complains of sore fingertips !!
Goodluck to everyone with the draw. I have found heaps of inspiration by reading all the comments.
Karen wrote
Wow, & thanks for your comments Alicia! My daughter had her first independent day at Kindy today since being diagnosed! Phew I’m glad its over now. (The teachers did really well too)
Rachel Besser wrote
I feel really touched by all your personal stories. If it was up to me, I would give you all a copy of my book!
I am sat here reading your comments with my mum, who has been visiting me for the weekend. We have great fun together! She wanted to pass on a message too – so from both me and my mum, we wanted to say – hang in there, be optimistic, allow yourself time for you and your child, as well as the rest of your family, to get used to having diabetes in your lives. Diabetes does not need to stand in your way to have a happy and fulfilled life, but it does take some extra time and thinking about.
I have just come back from cycling around Cuba (mum didn’t even worry his time!!, or so she says!) and I am happy to share my photos and friendship with anyone on Facebook.
Best wishes to you all,
Rachel and mum Val x
Nic wrote
Rachel it’s great to hear from you! Glad you had a good time in Cuba. Thanks again to you and your publisher for the book – I’m looking forward to having a read of it, and have talked to some people here about getting copies in stock locally for the parents of NZ diabetic kids.
I’ll be joining you on Facebook, please join us here: http://www.facebook.com/beingdiabetic and do get in touch if you (and your Mum) fancy a holiday in NZ – will definitely take you around the sights.
Nic
Rachel Besser wrote
Hi Nic, that sounds fab, thank you. I have never been to New Zealand and would love to visit some time.
best wishes,
Rachel
Andrew wrote
For us, almost 2 years on from when our son Isaac was diagnosed just after his 5th birthday, our challenges remain much the same.
Trying hard to keep his blood sugars in his target range.
Trying to keep his life as normal as we can and doing our best not to let him miss out on anything, although we haven’t worked out how he can have sleepovers yet.
Trying not to let diabetes impact on our other children’s lives too much.
Trying, (unsuccessfully) not to worry about him
Trying to convince ourselves that he will lead a long and complication free life.
On a positive note it is great having the support of all the other families out there, who understand what it’s like, and the fantastic support from all our medical team who have been great from day one.
Emma wrote
Hi. Can’t believe I missed the deadline, but anyway…!
Your comments above reflect so closely what we have experienced. Our little girl was diagnosed just after her 2nd birthday. no family history – a bolt from the blue. We spent a year grieving – couldn’t talk abotu anything else and it turned our lives upside down. But now, three and a half years on, it’s become so much easier. She is more independant, taking the pressure off us (the relentlessness of testing, injecting, managing food intake) was the hardest thing for the first couple of years). Now she’s at school I get morning teas and lunchtimes off!! She has coped remarkably well with it, and I admire her enormously for it. I think she is incredibly brave and puts up with so much.
So hang in there (not that you have any choice about it) those of you whose kids are recently diagnosed. It does get easier. There are still challenges every day, but somehow managing them gets easier. But I am still so sorry that while it’s getting easier for us, for her it will never go away and there will never be time off.
alicia wrote
So can I ask who won???
Nic wrote
Hi Alicia, I announced the winner here: http://www.beingdiabetic.co.nz/2010-02-03/winner-of-the-book-for-parents-of-kids-with-t1/
beth boag wrote
Hello from a new reader. I have had T1 since 1980 and at 71 feel great. I have just discovered blogs and cannot believe what a boon they are for sharing. Nic, would love to buy a copy of this book for our Diabetes centre library in Hawke’s Bay if ever it becomes available in NZ. Beth
Nic wrote
Hi Beth, welcome to the blog! Congrats also on 31 years with T1. I am not sure if anyone in NZ stocks the book yet but it can be bought on Amazon at this link if you wanted to order for the Hawkes Bay library:
http://www.amazon.com/Diabetes-Through-Looking-Glass-Children/dp/1859592090/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1264236332&sr=8-1
Thanks
Nic
Nic wrote
Hi Beth, I just got an email from the publisher – here it is. You can get free shipping if you order the book from them….
Although we don’t have a NZ distributor there is a UK internet provider that offers free shipping to NZ. You would need to pay by credit or debit card and your own bank may levy a charge for the currency conversion, but you would get the UK discount price and free shipping, so probably quite a good deal for this and any other books you might want to buy!
The company is called TheBookDepository.co.uk and the direct link to Rachel’s book is http://www.bookdepository.co.uk/book/9781859592090/Diabetes-Through-the-Looking-Glass
Nickie wrote
Nic I found the book at Mighty Ape, courier for one book around $4
here’s the website
http://www.mightyape.co.nz/product/Diabetes-Through-the-Looking-Glass-A-Book-for-Parents-of-Children-with-Diabetes/2769904/
have a great day
cheers
Nickie from Christchurch